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What She Really Means...
We need = I want
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to.
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
You're certainly attentive tonight. = Is sex all you ever think about?
I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = I'm on my period.
I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.
How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like.
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful. .
Yes = No
No = No
Maybe = No
Can't we just be friends? = There is no way in hell I am going to let any part of your body touch any part of mine, again.
I just need some space = ...without you in it.
Do I look fat in this dress? = We haven't had a fight in a while.
No, pizza's fine = Cheap bastard.
I just do not want a boyfriend now = I just do not want (you as a) boyfriend now
i like you but... = I don't like you.
You never listen = You never listen.
I'll be ready in a minute = I AM ready, but I am going to make you wait because I know you will.
Size doesn't count... = unless I want an orgasm.
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What He Really Means...
It is just orange juice, try it. = 3 more shots, and she'll have her legs around my head.
I need you = My hand is tired.
I really want to get to know you better = ...so I can tell my friends about it.
How do I compare with all your other boyfriends? = Is my penis really that small?
You're the only girl I've ever cared about = You are the only girl who has not rejected me.
I want you back = ...for tonight anyway.
We've been through so much together = If it was not for you, I never would have lost my virginity.
I miss you so much = I am so horny that my roommate is starting to look good.
No, I do not want to dance right now = Shoot! She'll know that I have a hard-on.
The break-up should not start for another 24 hours = I want to have sex a few more times.
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